voluntaryapnea | 16. And all the roads we have to walk are winding

[Video -- Public]

[The video feed opens to reveal the deck of the ship. A second later you can see Stiles leaning against the railing, a troubled expression on his face. He's pretty sure he already has the answer to the question he's about to pose, but he wants to be sure. He glances over his shoulder, up at the sky.]

Okay so is it just me, or are the stars...a lot less bright than usual? [He shifts so that he's holding the comm up so everyone can see what he's talking about.]

Is this another Mirror Barge sign?

[Spam for Kira -- Pub]

[He makes it to the Pub in less than the ten minutes that he agreed to meet Kira. It's closed, but he uses his warden's item and lets himself in. He's already perusing the alcohol choices when he hears her footsteps approaching and his head pops up from behind the bar. He gives her a small smile before ducking down again.]

So what's your poison, my friend?

[Spam for Scott]

[It's much later now. So late he doesn't actually even know what time it is. He's not entirely sure where he's even going until he finds himself in front of Scott's closed door. Oh. Apparently that's where. He has a half-drunk bottle of Jack in his left hand and his vision is just a bit bleary. He already has a headache, and realistically he knows he should just go to his own cabin, down some aspirin, drink some water, and crawl into bed for the next twelve or so hours. But he doesn't feel like being alone tonight.

Kira was great company, but they parted ways awhile ago and he's been wandering the corridors since. He briefly contemplate just going up to the deck again. Laying beneath the stars and staring up, but the way they've gotten dimmer freaks him out when he's completely sober, let alone when he's drunk. And the rational part of his brain that's still functioning tells him that he shouldn't be out and about when there are at least two people on the Barge who would probably like to see him dead.

Still. Where once he wouldn't have hesitated to just barge in on his best friend, he knows Scott's dealing with a lot already and a drunken Stiles probably isn't something he should have to deal with. He sighs and pushes himself away from the door, stumbling a little and rubbing a hand over his face as he heads back toward the stairs.]

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[She gives him a nudge of her elbow, gently.] Nothing I say is going to make you not feel worried, but I think I can edge a little bit of hope in there. You've never given up on Lydia, so don't stop now. Have faith in your connection. If you're inevitable, it'll happen no matter what.

[He smiles a bit at the nudging and glances at her sideways before lifting his glass and taking a drink.]

Yeah. Yeah, I know. You're right.

[Another swig of her screwdriver, and then she frowns at it.]

So you have hope, right? At least you have that.

[Kira? Resigned to not having any. And she's going to move on. She totally is. But she's allowed a little wallow, right? A little bit of regret for something she's lost - even if she's not quite sure she had it?]

[He pauses, watching her for a moment as he drinks and then sets the empty glass down on the bar. He hesitates, then lays a hand on her shoulder.]

He likes you. He does. He's just -- a lot's happened.

[Too much has happened. And he doesn't know if there's really any hope for her and Scott here on the Barge, because Scott is involved with Daneca, but he does know that things are changing constantly.]

But...it's okay. You know, to feel however -- [He waves a hand vaguely in the air. ] however.

Is it? [She grimaces.] I don't want to be resentful. It's not like we did anything more than lay on his bed and makeout. And almost die together.

The worst part is that I bet this girl is actually really cool and great and amazing. I can't even hate her.

[Not that Kira's really good at hating anybody, to be fair.]

Yeah. Of course. I mean it's not like...we can control how we feel.

[His voice is quiet. If only they could, life would be so much easier, really. He busies himself with reaching for different alcohol to start on making the Slippery Nipple drinks she mentioned as he listens. He knows that Lydia's not terribly fond of Daneca, but he thinks that has more to do with being best friends with Allison and being friends with Kira than anything about Daneca, specifically. He likes Daneca. She doesn't seem evil or anything.

But he also really likes Kira.]

I wish I could say that it was gonna get easier. That it won't hurt to see them.

[But it will. He's watched Lydia with Jackson for years, and then Lydia and Aiden, and now...Jackson is back in the picture. It doesn't really get less painful. It just becomes normal. Feeling the dull pain. It's definitely not something he wishes for Kira to have to experience.]

[There's a grimace.]

The important thing is that it's not something Scott feels troubled over. I mean, it's my problem, not his. I just have to be open to other...things, I guess. People.

[No, this is not going to be fun. She holds her hand out for a Slippery Nipple.]

[He hands her the drink without hesitation before starting to make a second one, this one for himself.]

Just as long as you know you don't have to handle it alone. I mean, you've got me and Lydia and Allison and in no time at all, you'll wind up with a couple dozen brand new friends who'll be happy to listen, too. Or to distract. With things like a lot of alcohol.

[He smiles and takes a drink.]

[She swallows half the glass in one go, smacking her lips at the flavor.]

Thank you. For not telling me I need to be mature about it and that I need to get over it. I'm working on it.

[She sighs, looking at the glass.] I don't think it's working.

[These drinks are a lot sweeter in flavor -- more like a dessert than the citrus-y screwdrivers. He finishes his off in two big gulps and glances at her sideways, offering her a small smile and a nod.]

I'm pretty sure I'm the last person on the barge who has any business telling someone else they need to be mature.

[He grimaces though, at her admittance. Damn.]

Yeah and it...would be starting to have an effect by now I think. [It is on him. He's feeling a little unsteady on his feet, and his eyes are a bit glassy.]

[She can't help laughing a little.] You, on the other and, are plastered. You need some help?

[A small, almost indignant sound escapes him.] I'm not plastered. I'm just. Slightly inebriated.

[She can't help but grin at him a bit as she puts down her glass.] Well. Calling you 'tipsy' seems a little wimpy. But you're a bit wobbly.

I accept wobbly. [He nods solemnly, leaning against the counter.] You aren't wobbly. Your metabolism is probably like a werewolf's.

Probably. Sucks, but it does give me something in common with Captain America. Now all I need is a shield. [She giggles a little.]

Are you going to need help getting back to your cabin?

Quitting already? But we just got started!

[He might be pouting a little.]

Ohhh, look at that face. If you wanna drink more, I'll be your desi-driver. In so much as it involves having to carry you back to your cabin.

[She can't help giggling a little. Even if she can't get drunk, she's certainly going to enjoy Stiles at his inebriated best.]

Okay but -- yeah it should be called something else because there is no car. Or jeep. There's no jeep. Roscoe isn't in the building. On the barge.

[He heaves a sigh.] Is it weird to miss a jeep? I miss my jeep. I love my jeep.

[He starts mixing another drink.]

It's not weird. If you have something you're attached to and you don't have it anymore, you miss it. Simple as that.

[She'll drink a bit more just to be a pal, but really at this point she's more there to make sure Stiles gets back to his cabin alright and makes it to the rail if he needs to chuck.]

[He grins at that, eyes a little glassy when he looks at her.]

I like you.

[He points at her when he speaks, then goes back to making his drink. So maybe both of their love lives are kind of screwed up and possibly they won't get any better in the near future. He's still glad that she's there, that he has a new friend. That whatever the barge throws at them, all of them collectively, they'll work through it and survive because they have each other. And that's nice to know.]

16. And all the roads we have to walk are winding

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