voluntaryapnea | 15. Who knows what's right?/The lines keep getting thinner

[He finds himself on the fourth floor, just outside of what's left of cabin 407, the room next to Dean's. He already has a pretty good idea of what exactly happened. Already knows that the vampire had been sealed inside the room courtesy of mountain ash. He sees it on the floor just outside the door and he kneels down, running his fingers through it and pursing his lips.

He's an awesome warden, really. Helping incite his inmate to attempted murder. Not that Jerry doesn't deserve it. It isn't about Jerry. He has no guilt or sympathy for the guy. It's that Dean is the one who dealt the strike. And Stiles had handed over the information he'd needed to do it with. He doesn't see a difference really, between someone handing a loaded gun to a psychopath out to commit homicide and his own role in the events that had taken place the night before. He lets out a breath and then steps inside the room, looking up at the scorched ceiling. Scorpius had been injured, too. Others could have been. People could have died.

Stiles rubs the back of his neck and grimaces. Innocent people getting caught up in this isn't something he'd wanted to happen, but it has and now he has to figure out how to deal with the fallout. The question is...how?]

[Private Video -- Dean Winchester.]

[It takes him a few hours to decide what to do about the whole situation with Dean. He can't just allow him to go around setting people on fire -- even if they deserve it and he maintains that Jerry did. But he also isn't going to be terribly harsh about punishment in this case. Maybe it's wrong, but considering he played a role in Dean's actions, he can't be too hard on the guy.

And he won't put Dean in Zero or confine him to his room. That's not even a punishment for the guy. Dean wants to be alone. Which is exactly why he can't be. Not just because it's supposed to be a punishment, but because it's unhealthy. Solitude is great, but everyone needs someone, and Dean is no exception, even if he believes otherwise.]

So. We should probably talk about what happened last night.

[Video -- Public]

[The video feed clicks on and it shows Stiles in the pub. There's a blender beside him that's full of ice, and several bottles of various syrups around. He's holding a container of sugar and eying the blender before he begins pouring it atop the ice.]

So, someone wondered about Slurpees on the Barge. I think this is everything it takes to make one. [Maybe. Possibly. Mostly he's just experimenting right now.] So if anyone would like to be a taste tester, come up to the Pub. [You know. If you're feeling brave. Or if you want to bounce off the walls. He's still pouring in the sugar and now half the container is in the blender.]

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[Dean has lost his ability to respond to optimism; lost his trust for what used to be something he depended on like oxygen. Scott hasn't made any headway with him, either, and in point of fact is worse off. This Dean's blind faith was never repaid, and it left him more vulnerable to the worst parts of himself than ever.]

"It could be a lot worse" is enough to get by on now that I'm here, but it's not enough to justify being here at all.

This place isn't home. People stay here for a long time but not when they have a choice, not for good. Stop trying to pretend like it is.

I never called it home.

[But it might as well be. He's not going back to Beacon Hills for any sort of permanent stay. He thinks then of Anya. Of Ben. The fact is that this place is better for quite a few on the Barge and given the choice, he's pretty sure they won't be leaving short of the Admiral kicking them off the ship. But now isn't the time to try and prove his point. Not when Dean is angry and stuck in his own mindset. It's a fight for another day.

He leans back in his chair.]

But I get your point.

[It's true enough that he's not going to come off this point, not here, not now; he's even one of the ones for whom this place is better. He's admitted that as freely as his hatred of himself, and he still wouldn't choose to be here if he had that choice. Maybe he made it here, but the others in his camp didn't, the people he sent to their deaths didn't.

Sam didn't.

But Stiles backs down and while Dean doesn't instantly calm, he holds his ground instead of continuing to be aggressive.]

I know you're trying to fix shit. I still don't think this is the way to do it, and I think you're wasting your time. You know that too.

[He can't help but wonder why more people from Dean's world haven't landed on the Barge. Even Sam. Especially Sam. He wonders why so many people from Beacon Hills and Gotham are aboard, but so few others are from the same worlds. He'd ask the Admiral if he thought he'd get an answer. He doesn't.

He just nods at Dean's statement.]

I know. [He draws in a breath and lets it out slowly.]

I guess this will also give a chance to see how long it takes Jerry to recover. Give us an idea of how well any supernatural healing powers work.

[Dean has an answer, on his own count anyway. It's not one that anyone else wants to hear or indeed even has when he's said it, not one they want to believe, but he's pretty sure he knows. He doesn't say it now less because his conviction has lessened, but more because he's out of energy to fight about it.

Nothing changes the fact that he's always known he's going back to Hell, and he's always deserved it.

Bringing up Jerry again seems to be effective at derailing him, at least, and he nods in return.]

I'd be surprised, too, if that didn't go a long way towards focusing him on me. [Which is an acceptable side effect, from the sound of Dean's voice there.]

[He's probably not wrong there -- that this act will draw Jerry's attention onto Dean. At least to a degree. It's the initial reason he'd gone to see Jerry in Zero. To draw his attention to Stiles instead of Lydia and Allison. He is expendable; they are not. It's pretty much the reason he's on the Barge to begin with.

But he knows Jerry's also still harassing Lydia and Allison, so ultimately he's not sure the method was particularly effective. And now Stiles has to worry about Jerry going after Dean, too.]

It's probably too much to hope he'll decide that it's easier to just leave everyone alone and rely on blood bags.

[For Dean, it's the difference between civilians and hunters; yes, Allison technically counts as a hunter, but she's a teenager. A kid. This? If Dean doesn't have this, he's nothing.

So he does his best to have this.]

Still an optimist, I see.

When do I report for the chain gang?

[He almost smiles at both comments, but doesn't. Not quite.]

Tomorrow morning.

Great. Then if it's all the same to you, I'm gonna go enjoy not having to sleep with one eye open.

Yep. [He pauses for a moment.]

Goodnight.

[This earns Stiles a fairly blank look.

Then Dean hangs up.]

15. Who knows what's right?/The lines keep getting thinner

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