25. Release me from this curse I'm in/I've been trying to maintain/But I'm struggling

[voluntaryapnea]

[Open Spam]

[Hours after being returned to the Barge, Stiles is still trying to pull his thoughts together and struggling to do so. Physically he feels fine. But every now and then he catches a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye. Any time he turns to look and see who or what it is, it vanishes quickly. He wants to chalk it up to the lack of sleep at the port.

Truthfully he's worried. Fleeting as it is, he's familiar with this sensation. This things aren't quite right feeling that's settled into his chest as he goes to check on Lydia in the infirmary, and then Dean at his room.

He checks in with Kira on the network, thankful she's now awake, and then goes to check in on the still coma'd Allison. Goes to check in on Scott and Liam. He makes his rounds on the Barge, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

The feeling doesn't leave him as he grabs food from the cafeteria, sitting alone at a table because he doesn't feel like looking for someone to sit with.

Something isn't right.]

Comments

[voluntaryapnea]

[He pauses at the confusion on her face when he takes her hand. He almost feels like he should let go but he doesn't. Not yet, anyway. He purses his lips.]

No. We're on the Barge, remember? [His voice is quiet, uncertain. She had to remember that, right?]

I'm not sure. I haven't talked to the doctors.

[lydiascreams]

The what?

[She asks, staring at him for a moment as she covers her bandaged ear with her free hand again. Considering that for a second before she turns back toward him, a puzzled expression on her face as she pulls her hand away all of the sudden.]

What're you doing here?

[voluntaryapnea]

[He grows still when she pulls her hand away quickly. His heart sinks at the look on her face, the uncertainty in her voice. It's eerily familiar in more ways than one. He tries his hardest to keep his expression calm, because panicking isn't going to help either of them right now.]

I came to check on you. [His voice is quiet, and he manages a small, faint smile that doesn't reach his eyes.]

[lydiascreams]

[She shakes her head, eyes him up and down as she shifts on the bed, away from him but mostly so she can turn toward him and take a better look.]

Who are you? [He's not wearing white.]

[voluntaryapnea]

[All the air leaves his lungs as she moves away and asks him who he is. He feels the color drain from his face, and he slowly gets up to put more space between them. If she doesn't know who he is, she probably doesn't want him to be that close to her.]

Stiles Stilinski. We uh -- we go to school together.

[Now he feels physically ill.]

[lydiascreams]

[Lydia has never been bothered by people being close to her. Not really. Even if sometimes she pretends.]

Where's Jackson? [If she's at the hospital, he's supposed to be there with her. And at least pretend he cares.]

[voluntaryapnea]

[Stiles looks away at that. Yep, he's officially nauseated.]

He uh -- had something he had to do.

I'm sure he'll be by as soon as he can.

[lydiascreams]

[She looks hurt by that information, so she looks away again, her eyes unfocusing as she does for a second.]

Where am I? [This time, her voice is quiet, and her tone a lot more confused than before.]

[voluntaryapnea]

[He doesn't think he can do this.

Who do you belong to, little boy?

He swallows heavily, rubbing a hand over his face, forcing himself to take a deep breath before turning to look at her again.]

It's...the infirmary. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be fine, Lydia. [His own voice is quiet.]

[lydiascreams]

[He turns to face her again and she stares at him for a full moment, and then the confusion clears and she pushes herself from the bed, then wraps her arms tightly around his back, pulling him close.]

You're okay.

[voluntaryapnea]

[He doesn't know what to think when she gets to her feet and hugs him, but he wraps his arms around her tightly, closing his eyes.]

Are you?

[lydiascreams]

I'm okay. [She whispers quietly, turning her head to kiss his cheek softly as she closes her eyes tightly.]

My ear and I think-- I might be blacking out, but I'm okay. [Because she doesn't remember coming here, or getting back. She knows she didn't die, though.]

[voluntaryapnea]

[He swallows heavily, gently bringing a hand up to rest on the back of her head. She's not blacking out. She's slipping in and out of lucidity. He'd know.]

Lydia, do you -- do you remember hitting your head at all? Back there in the tower? At any point.

[lydiascreams]

[She shakes her head slightly, pressing her face against his neck.]

I'm okay. It was just that book. [She sighs softly and pulls back to look at him again.]

We can go.

[voluntaryapnea]

[He wants to believe her, but it doesn't make sense. He can understand it making her ears bleed, and he's concerned because that hasn't stopped either. He reaches up and lightly touches the gauze on her right ear, worry in his eyes. But he's more worried about the other part. He meets her eyes, searches them for a long moment.]

Maybe you should stay here awhile longer.

[lydiascreams]

[She shakes her head slightly, looking up at him with wide eyes.]

I don't want to. Stiles-- [She lowers her voice, and the fear is very clear.]

I'm scared.

[voluntaryapnea]

[Stiles hesitates before lifting a hand to her cheek.]

Scared of what? [He lowers his voice, too.]

[lydiascreams]

[She covers his hand with hers and takes a deep, shaky breath.]

Of getting lost. [In her own head, in this place.]

[voluntaryapnea]

[His eyes tear up at her admission and wordlessly, he leans in and presses his lips to her forehead, then wraps his arms around her, resting his hand on the back of her head.]

I won't let you.

[I can't.]

[lydiascreams]

[She leans into him, her own tears running down her cheek as she closes her eyes.]

Don't get hurt. [She whispers to him, hugging him tightly for a moment, and then relaxing, her expression growing calmer again.]

[voluntaryapnea]

[He closes his eyes, not sure what to make of her words. Any other time he might be kind of alarmed by them, but right now she's not exactly making a lot of sense. Or any, for that matter. He has no idea what the hell is going on.

But whatever it is? Isn't good.]

I won't.

[lydiascreams]

[For the longest time, she doesn't move. And then, when she does, she pulls away from him and smiles.]

Let's go to bed. [She reaches for his hand and starts back to the hospital bed. Although for her, this seems normal, like they're in her room.]

[voluntaryapnea]

[He lets her tug him back toward the bed, even though he's intensely worried and wants to go find Scott and try to figure out what's happening. He won't leave her, though. He waits until she's settled herself in the bed and then slides in behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pressing a tender kiss to the back of her head.]

Rest.

[His voice is barely a whisper and he swallows hard, ignoring the anxiety in his chest.

Something is terribly wrong.]