voluntaryapnea | 24. We're falling apart and we're coming together again and again.

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[After leaving Scott's room, Stiles makes his way toward the stairs. He's relieved as hell that Scott is awake again, that he seems to be fine. Just as nearly everyone had told him. But now he has other people he needs to check on. Lydia, Dean, Kira, Liam, Allison, Isaac, Bucky, Steve, Jean. His people. They're growing in numbers, expanding a little bit at a time. For a guy who'd once thought himself virtually incapable of caring about anyone besides his dad, Scott, and Lydia, he's come a long way.

He heads for Dean's room first, mostly because they'd been in the midst of a battle with a horrifyingly large kaiju before getting pulled back to the Barge, and he wants to make sure his inmate is okay. He still feels a little disoriented by all of it. More so than most of these kinds of events tend to leave him.

He can be found heading toward any of their rooms, also at the cafeteria to grab something to eat, and then heading back to his own room on the seventh floor.]

[Private to Scott]

[He's slept a bit since he saw Scott earlier, but he still looks a little tired. He also looks a little nervous.]

I have a question.

[Spam for Lydia]

[Everything is already set up in the enclosure, ready to go. Now he just has to get her to go with him. He's chewing his thumbnail as he heads toward her room, and knocks lightly on the door. It's late but not super late. Not late enough that he's worried she'll be asleep. He stands and waits, heart beating quickly in his chest.]

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[He hasn't forgotten the time he'd thought he was Bucky. He still remembers the things that happened to his friend, the things he lived through. Or rather...didn't, exactly. His chest feels tight suddenly. He hadn't seen Bucky there at all. At the time he hadn't questioned it. But Steve had been paired with T'Pol, and he remembered both of them, but Bucky was nowhere in that breach that Stiles can recall. It's troubling.]

Yeah. Yeah, me too. I haven't done that whole death toll thing and...I'd rather not. [He makes a face, then shakes his head at the question about his new facetwin.]

No, not officially. I've heard a little about him.

[Truthfully, Stiles has been avoiding meeting the other kid. It creeps him out to see someone else around wearing his face. Especially now, after everything that happened with the nogitsune.]

Have you?

[Steve... maybe tries not to think about that, overly much - or about the way Scott's probably lived through a lot of Steve's worst times. Although it did, admittedly, come in handy when he wanted to do up a couple of pictures of Beacon Hills for Christmas.

But all the same, that breach was rough, and in some weird way, knowing Stiles might understand better than most might even be a relief.] No, me either. There's something about cheating death like that, that reeks too much of - well, cheating.

[Which is probably rich, coming from Steve Rogers, but there you have it.

Besides, he can't actually say he's all that unhappy it's possible, here, because now he knows that Bucky's died at least once here, and if that had been permanent...

Moving on sounds like a good idea, about now - although he has to shake his head.] No, I haven't. I've seen him around, but I haven't had a chance to really talk to him. I feel like I should change that, though. He seems like an okay guy. [He smiles, a little.] Although I'm guessing it's weirder for you than for any of us, in the end.

[He smiles grimly at that. It might be rich coming from any of them, really. Steve, Bucky. Any of them from Beacon Hills. Literally anyone on the Barge. Not that he knows that for sure, but he suspects, given the state that everyone was in the week of nightmares, that nearly everyone here has dealt with near death experiences.]

Yeah.

[He shrugs a little at the comment about Thomas though. Time will tell if he's an okay guy or if he's a monster of some kind. If he has ulterior motives. Stiles doesn't inherently trust most people, and he trusts someone wearing his own face even less. He knows what he's capable of under the right circumstances. Or the wrong ones, maybe. Same difference in this case.]

Just be careful.

[The funny thing is, it always seems to be the people who manage to cheat death that are the most uncomfortable with it, Steve's found. It's the people who seek it at all costs that never seem to find what they want, in the end. Maybe that's just God, or fate, or something else entirely, being ironic.

His smile turns just a little wry, at the warning, and he shrugs, one-shouldered.] Me? I'm always careful.

[Whereby always he means pretty much never.]

How's Dean, after that breach?

[He snorts at Steve's comment that he's always careful. It's sort of like hearing Scott saying he's always careful. He just gives Steve a look that says he knows better, then shakes his head.]

He's...dealing. [Meaning of course, that Dean destroyed his cabin in a fit of rage. Or possibly it was more despair than rage. Maybe it was both.]

How about T'Pol?

[Yeah, that's pretty much the reaction Steve expects. His expression definitely says as much.

He nods at the sort of vague answer, but honestly, he figures that sounds about right.] That's what he does, huh? Deals. With everything. [It's not said accusingly, just thoughtfully. Dean's a little bit of a conundrum, but in a lot of ways, he's really not.] Have you ever met his brother? His real one, I mean. [He's curious.]

She's... dealing, too. [There's that wry smile again.] I think she'd rather we both just pretend it never happened at all. I probably owe her that much, if anything.

Yeah, pretty much. I guess it's...kind of what we all do though, isn't it?

[He exhales, then shakes his head. He hasn't met Sam, but he wishes he could. Maybe he could gain some more insight into the mind of Dean Winchester.]

No. Have you? [His eyebrows furrow, because it's possible that Steve talked to Sam on one of those weird days where they get to talk to people from back home, or from other universes.]

Think that's really possible? Pretending it never happened?

Point. [He smiles wryly.] I guess the Admiral's reminding us of that, but he really likes beating the lesson home.

[He shakes his head.] Nah. I've heard a little about him, but that's about it. [He can kind of understand, though, how Dean feels. Why Sam governs everything he does. He figures Stiles can too, given how close he and Scott are.]

Probably not in practice, but I figure if I never mention it again, it'll be good enough. [After all, T'Pol's smart enough to know that you don't just forget things. But you can move past them.] It was a pretty weird experience, you know?

[Letting someone else into every part of your heard is not something he'd normally sign up for.]

With a baseball bat, apparently.

[He nods slightly, though. He suspects a lot of people on the Barge know a bit about Sam, even if it's more because of the other Dean who'd been there than this Dean. He definitely feels a sense of kinship with Dean over the brotherly bond he shares with his long lost brother, because he and Scott are close. It doesn't surprise him that Steve can relate, too, because of Bucky.]

Fair enough. [And for now he figures that's probably the best route to go with Dean, too. Because he knows Dean isn't ready to deal with a lot of the things that happened.] Yeah. I can't say that having someone else in my head is something that...I ever anticipated not hating completely.

[At the time it hadn't been the least bit weird or upsetting. Dean had been his brother. His only surviving family. It had bothered him.

It doesn't really bother him now, except for the fact that it bothers Dean.]

A metal one. [Steve sighs a little, but it's something they've both accepted, as wardens. Or something, at least, that they try to accept.]

Sometimes that's all you can do. God knows it's how I've ended plenty of arguments. [He and Bucky are too stubborn to actually forget it. So they just stop, and stop talking about it.]

Maybe it was just a product of the, uh, world, you know? It was an acceptable risk we all were willing to take, to defend it. I mean, at least, it seemed acceptable to me at the time.

[Maybe it's one that they would take here, too - well. Some of them. Steve doesn't think he could. He's got too much at stake.]

24. We're falling apart and we're coming together again and again.

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/o\ inbox stop losing my stiles tags

Inbox no >:[

seriously D:

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