voluntaryapnea | 21. Oh brother I can't, I can't get through

21. Oh brother I can't, I can't get through

[Video -- Private to Dean]

[Stiles looks tired, like he hasn't slept in awhile. He hasn't. If Dean's ever seen the inside of Scott's cabin, he might recognize it as being where his warden is currently. He's sitting on the bed right beside his unconscious best friend, in fact, even if the feed focuses mostly on his face and the wall behind him.]

Scott's in a coma. [He figures Dean may have heard the announcement from Abigail the night before, but he isn't sure, either.]

So if you need me for something I'm in his cabin. [Not that Dean will need him for anything. Dean pretty much never asks for anything from him. But still. He wants to make sure Dean knows in case something comes up.]

[Video -- Clementine]

[As soon as he's done talking to Dean, he starts the feed once more, this time with Scott's inmate. He draws in a breath, arching his eyebrows and lifts his hand in a wave.]

Hey. I'm sure you probably heard about Scott by now. Hopefully he's not gonna play Sleeping Beauty for long, but uh -- until he wakes up, if you need something. Or want to talk or anything. I'm staying with him. You can just come find me or...you know, call on this thing. I mean obviously there are other options if you don't want to talk to me or whatever, but just -- putting that out there.

[Spam -- Open]

Over the next few days, Stiles can mostly be found only in Scott's cabin. Even with the rest of the pack coming in and visiting, offering to stay for as long as necessary, even with Isaac occasionally living in the other room, Stiles has a difficult time leaving his best friend's side. He feels more anxious than usual, like the end of a fraying wire. For as long as he can actually remember, Scott McCall has been his solid ground. And sure, he's physically fine. He even looks peaceful. These things don't keep him from feeling Scott's forehead regularly to make sure he's not running a fever or anything. He isn't. But he's in a coma and no part of Stiles is okay with that. He knows it happens all the time. He hadn't liked it when it was Dean, either, but this is still worse. This is his brother. And his unresponsiveness makes Stiles feel like he's constantly on the edge of having a panic attack. The only way he could have felt anymore anxious about the scenario is if someone had insisted Scott be in the infirmary while he's out. Hospital settings make nothing better.

So like he had when his inmate was comatized, he spends a great deal of the time reading Harry Potter to Scott. Occasionally he works on his laptop, which he's brought to Scott's for the duration of the time. Making himself right at home here isn't an issue. The McCall house has been his second home since he was four.

But he leaves the door open just a bit in case someone wants to visit, because Scott is a friendly kind of guy who doesn't turn down company and so Stiles isn't going to turn down people who want to visit unless he thinks they're going to be a danger.

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[He lets her tug him over until he's sitting in the chair and he swallows hard, leaning into her touch as their eyes meet. He chews his lower lip and then exhales slowly.]

It's not just that. [His voice is still quiet. He hesitates.] He's been the one constant. After my mom -- [He looks down for a second, uncertain.] My dad drank a lot. Like -- a lot. [He lays a hand on her arm.] I pretty much lived with the McCall's for awhile after the funeral. [And he'd clung to Scott and to Melissa like his own life depended on it.] And my dad was eventually kind of okay again and then he was okay, but...

[But he'd always been afraid to lean on his dad too much, afraid he'd drive him over that edge again. So he'd leaned on Scott instead.]

I didn't know that.

[But she vaguely remembers Stiles from when they were little. They went to the same school, and he talked to her every once in a while. She vaguely remembers him being the boy whose mom died, and she remembers how much less he talked in general after that.

Her own eyes tear up and she leans down, pressing her lips to the top of his head.]

I'm sorry. [She's sorry he felt alone with what was left of his own family. It's a feeling she can relate to, but this isn't about her.]

You're not alone now. Not in watching after Scott, not in dealing with this. And you're not gonna lose him.

[He closes his eyes when she kisses his head and he exhales slowly, reaching out and resting his hands on her hips and resting his forehead against her stomach. But he nods at her words that he's not alone. He knows it's true, of course, because he has her, and Allison and Kira, and Bucky and Steve and other friends he's made here.

Stiles lifts his head to look at her, and words stick in his throat. Words like promise me he'll wake up and please don't ever fall into a coma and a thousand other things that will only succeed in making him sound completely pathetic.]

Thank you.

[Lydia brushes her hands over his hair gently, then rubs a hand over his back. She knows he's terrified, that he needs comfort and she's more than willing to provide him with as much of it as she can. She can't get him Scott to wake up, she can't be Scott. They both have very different places with Stiles. And she knows he needs them both in different ways.]

He'll wake up before you know it, Stiles. Until then, while you take care of him, you'll have to let me take care of you. Scott would be seriously mad at me if he woke up and you hadn't showered, eaten or slept. And I'd rather not piss off a true alpha.

[Her voice is lighter than she feels, but he needs to be distracted from all the terrifying things she has no doubt are going through his head. And she's already made up her mind about sleeping over.]

[Some of the tension eases from his shoulders as she rubs his back, and his heart starts beating at a more regular pace again. After a moment, he pulls away to gaze up at her, expression soft and open. He smiles a little at her words and then gently tugs on her hand until she's sitting in his lap.]

You really are the best. [His voice is quiet and he reaches up, cupping her cheek in his hand and brushing his thumb lightly over her skin.] You know that, right? You know that's not just me saying it? I mean, you know I mean it, don't you?

[She sits down across his lap easily, smiling softly back at him when she sees a smile on his lips. She wraps her arms around his neck and leans into his touch. It's her turn to have her heart rate speed up, but for different reasons.]

I have to work really hard to keep up with you. [She brushes her nose against his, a soft smile still on her lips.]

Would you still think that if I told you the coke I got you is caffeine-free? [Like she can lie to him when he's looking at her like that.]

[His eyes widen a little at that and he looks from her to the glass of Coke she'd brought him, mouth falling open.]

You brought me decaf Coke? [He can't help the short laugh that escapes him and he tugs her a little closer.] I don't know. I think you might have to make that one up to me. [He's only teasing of course, but he does shift forward and kiss her softly on her mouth.]

[She grins softly when he laughs and kisses him back when he pulls her closer. She didn't think he'd be mad, really. Just try to find a way to sneak caffeine into his system somehow.

When she breaks the kiss, she pulls back just enough to look at him.]

I would, but Scott is right there. [And maybe she has fun seeing him blush or give her that wide eyed look.]

But I can spend the night here to keep you company, at least? [It sounds like a question but he doesn't really have a choice in the matter. She's staying with him.]

[He's not even sure he has the capability of being mad at Lydia. At least not for more than a minute or two. His eyes do go wide at her words about Scott being right there, because the implications behind them are heavy and his breath catches a little.]

Oh. Um. Yeah. Definitely. I'd like that. Company is good.

Good.

[She grins more at the look on his face. She doesn't want to make him uncomfortable, but if she can give him distracting mental images? Why not? When she leans in to kiss him again, though, she keeps it very soft and innocent. The idea is still to get him to relax.

When she pulls back, her grin is replaced by a soft smile.]

You should eat before your food gets cold.

Yeah, cold spaghetti isn't very appetizing. [He smiles back at her, soft and open, then reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before reaching over and picking up the plate of food.]

Did you eat already?

[Because now he's thinking about a certain scene from Lady and the Tramp...]

[She kisses his cheek softly and shakes her head, pulling the lid off the other plate on the tray.]

No, but mine's just salad. [Carbs, late dinner. She doesn't do that, Stiles. Except on very few exceptions.

Lydia shifts on his lap so she's only sitting on one leg to give him more room to eat. What, it's not like Scott has two chairs.]

[A few minutes later they've finished up their dinner and Stiles finishes off his coke before setting the glass on Scott's desk. He leans in and presses a kiss to her cheek, leans his head against hers for a minute.]

You wanna take turns reading to him?

[She leans into him and brushes a hand over his hair for a second, then nods as she pulls back and stands up, holding her hand out to him.]

I'll take the first turn. [And hopefully Stiles will be out, too, by the time she's done.]

[Stiles takes her hand without hesitation, rising to his feet and letting her pull him over to the bed. He nods a little at her agreement to take the first turn reading to Scott, and he picks up the book, handing it to her and then drops down beside his best friend, scooting over to make room for her to lay down, too.]

[She lets him adjust before laying down next to him, on her side. She's small but so is Scott's bed, especially for all three of them. But in a way, she figures that being there with her and Scott will be good for Stiles, maybe help him relax a little more.

She lets the book rest on the bed for a second and wraps an arm around Stiles as she shifts closer to him.]

You doing okay?

[Stiles scoots a little closer to Scott before settling down, reaching out and pulling Lydia closer to him so there's less risk she'll fall. It's a small bed, but it's not too bad now, either.]

Yeah. I think we're good.

[When he doesn't say anything else, doesn't nearly break down like he did earlier, she relaxes. After adjusting a little, she leans up and presses her lips to his cheek then picks up the book, opening it on the page he marked.]

Try to relax some too, okay?

[He smiles when she kisses his cheek and he nods and closes his eyes. They can definitely use the break from all the reading he's been doing. He lets out a breath.]

That's the plan. Gotta have a plan. [He relaxes into the pillow beneath his head, listening intently as she begins to read.]

[She smiles when she sees him closing his eyes. That's definitely the plan. With a slight nod, she lifts a hand to brush at his hair, and then she focuses back on the book, keeping her voice quiet and even as she reads, hopefully in a soothing manner that will help both him and Scott.]

[Within a matter of minutes his lack of sleep and Lydia's quiet tone have him passing out, his head lulling to rest against Scott's shoulder even as his arm tightens just a little around Lydia.]

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21. Oh brother I can't, I can't get through

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