10. I can't get used to it/I'll never get used to it

[voluntaryapnea]

[Video -- Scorpius]

So...thanks. For finding me and taking me to the infirmary during the breach.

[As usual, he wonders if his own death would have prevented that of someone else's. Allison's. It always seems to come down to that. But he knows that despite the death toll, his own death would also have taken its toll on his friends. He knows that if there's an ultimate choice at stake -- and there is, he'll always choose Allison's life over his own. But in this situation he hadn't known, couldn't have known, and Scorpius certainly didn't, so while the thanks is belated, it is also sincere.]

[Video -- Jack]

Hey. Thanks for...well, Scott said you gave me your own blood or I probably wouldn't have survived. That's pretty awesome doctor-ing, considering the limited amount of supplies and stuff.

[Video -- Scott and Lydia]

She knows we're leaving stuff out. I told her no one really wanted to talk about my murder spree right now, but I don't know if... [He looks down, holds his breath for a moment. He doesn't know if she believes that's all there is. That alone is a lot. But Allison is smart, and she knows all of them so very well. He exhales.]

I'm starting to think maybe we should tell her. Before she winds up finding out some other way.

[Video -- Andrew]

Hey. Any chance you'd wanna do a movie or video game thing soon?

[Video -- Wardens]

Has anyone ever changed the specifics of their deal without leaving the Barge for awhile first? Is that something that's possible?

[Video -- Jean]

I know we haven't really talked but uh, I was wondering if that whole offer you made a few days ago about people talking to you...if that was still on the table. [A beat.]

Because I think that's probably something I should do.

Comments

[Warden Filter]

[voluntaryapnea]

[Frankly Ben's uniqueness is probably part of why Stiles likes him. He has a knack for finding unique individuals and befriending them. Scott was unique long before he was a werewolf. Lydia intrigued him years before her banshee powers kicked in. At seventeen, Allison can wield a bow and arrow to rival Robin Hood, Hawkeye or Green Arrow. And those are just his friends from home. Here there's also a handful of superheroes, a girl with demon powers, a reaper with klepto tendencies...

He smiles a little at Ben's question.]

Mostly it's just trying to get other teammates more engaged if you notice their attention's wavering. Leading the warm up and cool down before and after practice or games. Helping strategize. I'll help whoever from the sidelines.

[Warden Filter]

[warisart]

[Often, Ben wonders if others realize that each of them is unique, that the individuality most of them take for granted is as much a gift as anything else about them, not a right; if they understand how wonderful it is. He is different in several ways from most of them. Others, not at all.

No one asks, though, so he tells his stories to himself and he watches them and he learns them, and now he is being asked to lead some of them, even in something as nonessential as lacrosse.

At the definition, he does not seem satisfied. That isn't his experience with captains at all.]

I am not... skilled. At encouraging others to engage. I doubt I would obeyed so far out of my realm of knowledge and affinity.

[Warden Filter]

[voluntaryapnea]

[Stiles thinks that most people probably find themselves to be pretty ordinary, unless they have some kind of abilities that others don't. Or maybe that's just him.

He can tell Ben's not entirely convinced by Stiles' description of captain duties. He really doesn't want to pressure the guy into doing something he doesn't want to do, but he also can't help but think it would be good for him to be more involved in things. Even things that are just for fun, like lacrosse.]

Well, like I said, I'll help from the bench and be at all the practices that happen between now and when I'm well enough to play again. But it's up to you, Ben.

[Warden Filter]

[warisart]

[When Ben arrived aboard the Barge, he didn't know what fun was; he didn't know how to do anything just for fun. Now he knows it as an abstract concept, one he occasionally finds himself immersed in, but without any practical knowledge for how to engage at will without feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

He's quiet again, considering, which is not uncommon for him. Ben is far from spontaneous. He can be quick when the situation calls for it, decisive, but left to his own devices he keeps his own counsel and takes his time making decisions.]

You are my team captain as well. [This with still a slight tint of dubiousness to it, the underlying possibility that he's justifying something to himself as much as to Stiles. It's subtle, but deeply rooted. It's easier for him to accept optional activities if they become assigned duties instead of personal preferences; the former is clearcut and unwavering. The latter, Ben doesn't even know the shape of yet.] If I am capable of assisting you, I will. I will trust your judgment in asking it of me.